I wanted to make a CD compilation of goth tunes just in case I ever picked up a goth chick. 
I borrowed 5 records and found I didn't really like that stuff unless some broken doll was gyrating to it at some spooky club. I liked the dark horror show elements of the genre, but most of that stuff sounded like bad techno made by unmusical pouting vampire sissies. Didn't the international goth movement have a super group? Some of the gothibilly was fun and some of the golden throated/ leather wearing femme fatales had charisma. In the end, the late night goth date mix tape never happened. I would have to stick with Portishead or Mazzy Star. Or like back in the day, Cocteau Twins. Or Marvin Gaye. Anything that works.
Out of nowhere, Lacuna Coil crept into my life and nestled in my subconscious. The songs captured my mood, which was a tense meloncoly and dreamy fatigue. The idea of an Italian goth/metal hybrid seemed so refreshing. Were the Italian goths tougher because they live by the Vatican with their demon fighting exorcists? Were they stereotypically passionate and operatic? All this was reinforced when I caught the video for Heaven's a Lie. Monks of doom with the deranged bride, rocking the rectory. I loved the way the drop D power chords swelled up the slow progression and the tasteful use of strings, which was taboo in American metal. It also struck me how some of their songs rang out like perfect little pop songs. When they played the heavy metal songs acoustically, it worked as radio friendly ditties that they could open for singer songwriters or Clannad.
It was the vocal and visual beauty of Christina Scabbia that sealed the deal for me. Her pictures hit the fridge and stayed there. 
When they hit town for the Rob Zombie show, they made an appearance at a record store. I arrived late after work and they were raffling off tickets for the sold out show. After that, the kids got their stuff signed and waved goodbye. The boys were all googley eyed and grinning like jack o lanterns at Christina, who magazines had deemed the hottest chick in metal. This reaction still seemed to mystify her, although the band was breaking in the states that very week. Since I wasn't a kid groupie, I was allowed to wander the record racks unnoticed. The manager let the band shop, adding they got 20% off ( 5% more than the employee discount!). So there I was, looking through CDs with Christina Scabbia beside me. I decided right then that I would act like I didn't know who she was. She decided she wouldn't be the hottest chick in metal, just a girl from Italy visiting America. The next ten minutes was graceful and pure happiness. Their music was still playing from the autograph session. Christina's singing songs I've been playing all week lifting my mood, while she leafed through new releases across from me. Her voice singing those songs made her a star in my eyes. She looked amazing in a store photo with a cheap digital camera too.
There was a call to finish up and hit the road. The store employees fell over themselves saying good bye. I hit the register and the cashier said I could still get my cd signed before they boarded the limo. I was too old for that anyway, even though I felt like a star struck teen. I didn't want to swoon and faint either. Plus I didn't want to get that look the kid who proposed to her got. That "oh, you horny stalking boy" look. Unrequited love hurts the most, don't it?
Comments