Christmas is for families, kids, and Christians. It also gives people an excuse for a party. Just like on St. Patrick's Day, when average folk drink green beer and yell. Or on Halloween, when some dress up and act like mischievous demons. Like Thanksgiving, Christmas makes one reflect, connect to that warm & fuzzy heart, and pressures one to be charitable to the less fortunate. Once a year, we sing Silent Night and get all choked up. The time of year my snobby neighbors wave and greet me. They also did that after 911 for a while. I know there are wonderful people out there who have open hearts and loving souls, who say "Merry Xmas" and mean it. I just don't seem to run into them or live near them.
It's the time when the greedy, give a dime to the needy.
I had only three gifts to buy, so I had only to endure one hour in a big store. People were moving way too slow. The jingles were burning my ears. First I heard the "green day brat" artificial punk tunes with lyrics that demanded toys and insulted family members. Then came the reggae "Wish You a Merry Christmas" which made my blood boil. I wanted to beat the figgy pudding out of them all. In a fever dream, I found my items and found a short checkout line. Then it happened; the disgusting display. A miserable upper middle class housewife messing with a young single mom/temp cashier. Apparently the cashier wasn't polite enough. The cashier said she didn't mean to be rude, it had been a long day. I guess she wasn't sorry enough and the customer kept bitching. The guy next in line said, " Hey lady, she working hard for $6.50 an hour. It's Christmas." At that point, the cashier was melting down and said, "I have a baby to pick up at 5:00 and I don't care about Christmas shopping. They'll just fire me when it's over." The customer demanded to see her name tag and the cashier pushed it three inches away from her face. As the irrate customer bitch sped off to the manager, the cashier was shaking like a leaf. When it was my turn, she apologized and closed her register. Eddie Money and Ronnie Spector crooned happy Xmas jibberish over the loud speakers as children screamed. Christmas was beating the crap out of me.
I used to love A Christmas Carol, but now I think Scrooge was a chump. He went from mean greedy bastard to a punch drunk saint. That's text book manic depression, isn't it? If you spotted a laughing geezer in his pajamas dancing in the street, you'd call the cops wouldn't you? I'm haunted by ghosts every night and you don't see me transforming into a generous madman.
>)}]:*> Porky Pig - Blue Christmas
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